How can I have a "New Me" if I don't know who the "Old Me" is?

Who are you?

So everywhere we see all these advertisements for "New You" and "Re-invent Yourself."  But since my last son left the house, I'm not quite sure who "I" really am.  I'm someone's wife (still love you, Babe!), and someone's Mom (even though they're both responsible adults and REALLY don't need me all that much.)  So that just leaves.... me.  Even the things I used to love don't really ring true until I figure out where I belong in the scheme of things.  But, then little things spring up, and I find myself showing glimmers of maturity that are nothing short of surprising.

Take yesterday.  Saw a post on FaceBook that in the past I would have jumped on and joined the fray.  Instead, I gave a positive answer, valuable feedback, and contact information for the person to get the help they were asking for.  Maturity, right?

What about courage? Where did all that go?  Used to be I'd jump right in and think about it after.  With maturity has come wisdom.  And with wisdom, comes trepidation.  The problem is finding that balance between caution and adventure, between seeking new thrills and not ending up in the hospital.  When you reach 50, you find that sometimes taking a step outside your comfort zone is often more risk-taking and frightening than you were expecting.  But that's where the mature me, has to call on the adventurous me.  It's going to take some chutzpa to get through all these new changes.  And to make the changes means I have to have the right attitude about them.  Don't let my own fear become a reason to not see with clarity.

So, can I say I'm not quite the little old lady waving her cane in the air and yelling at kids to get out of her yard?  Can I admit that I can be wise, and not be OLD?  Answer: yes.

So the answer to the BIG question "Who are you?" I. Am. Mature.

God Willing & The Creek Don't Rise...

 

Where are you?

In just over a week, I'm going to turn 52 years old.  I wonder how this happened. Not the age part, but the AGE aspect.  I was always never satisfied where I was, so I would count myself as a year older that day after my birthday. In simpler terms,  I was 10 years old from October 3rd, 1974 to October 1st, 1975.  I had to find some way of making sense of those age cut-off for starting school. If you're 5 years old for almost the entire year, why do you have to wait until you're almost 6 before going to Kindergarten?

But age is just a number. AGE is something else entirely.  Somehow I became OLD.  Like how my Mom used to sit in the living room with my Dad and watch old movies on their black and white tv.  It didn't just sneak up on me either. I should have seen it coming, but like everything else that happens when you're holding on to 29, I didn't think it would happen to ME.  I couldn't handle teaching because all of a sudden I didn't like yelling kids. So I stayed to help out with my elderly Mother-in-law.  When she passed away, I kind of drifted.... and drifted.... and now here I am.
Not just physically, but emotionally.  Hiding like a hermit in a cave, I type away at my funny, troll-like comments on FaceBook and then skulk around on Pinterest to find things to stock my imaginary beach house and camper.

This is where I am: Fat, depressed, and over 50.

BUT.... (and you know that "but" is like a delete button for all that's said previously)... I have raised 2 incredible young men, who are responsible adults who make their own way in life without lots of hovering.  I have an incredibly healthy marriage to a man who knows me better than myself but has enough tact to not say what he's thinking! (Thanks, babe!)

Where are you going?

When I was growing up in tiny little Cut Bank, Montana, I would stand on the sidewalk in front of our house on Highway 2, looking to the East.  I just KNEW there was something happening out there, and I wanted to be a part of it.  This point of view where I'm constantly looking forward has served me well as an Army Wife.  We've moved 17 times over the last 29 years, across the country, across the street, and across the ocean.

And now we're starting a new direction:  we're moving to New Jersey. And for the first time, I'm on my own without kids as a distraction.  N.O. children. And doing the Army Wife thing, after staying by myself in my bubble for so long?

So, this is my future.  Join me as I post my journey.  As a mid-life woman without a normal life.  Will I make it? God willing and the creek don't rise... I certainly hope so!

It's been a LOOOONG year!

I haven't been on in while. Since I finished my "Travelling Bedroom", the love of my life came home from Afghanistan, we've been vacationing (ok, STAYcationing), and I've gone back to teaching. The Spring of last year wasn't easy, but it was certainly rewarding.

I would love to have a chair where my 2nd Graders can sit and read their writing. I've been inspired by this chair:

Shopped around flea markets and 2nd Hand stores, and located a chair that I thought "had character." I sanded it down just a little to get the paint to stick. I spray painted with this:

"Why this paint?" you ask. Well, basically because I'm impatient. And it works. At least, so far...

I found the most incredible paint pens at Walmart for $9 a box. LOVE these little buggers!

Unfortunately, I didn't take before photos, and no photos during the process. Yeah. I've SLACKED considerably!

Here are some closeups:

Now, I need to find something to write in the heart, and a quote for the edges. Hmmm.... Ideas, anyone? I have always loved the quote from Bob Ross, the painter guy with the wild 'doo from the 80's PBS show.

Other than that quote, I'm perplexed. Flumoxed. Downright stumped. Anybody got some ideas???

What You Don't See

"Hello, my name is Sandy, and I'm a Pinterest addict..." No. Really. My niece is an addiction counselor, and she'll get mad at me for saying it, but I actually go into physical withdrawl if I don't check Pinterest at least 5 times a day. There are SOOO many great ideas that I can tweak to make my own, or at the very least copy down to the last detail.  

If you check out my "Project List" tab, you'll find a list of items I'm working on. I have completed many of them. But I am also sneaking little things onto the list. They are not going up just yet, because my wonderful husband is coming home from Afghanistan soon, and I want to give him SOMETHING of a surprise. Some things turned out really cute. Others did not.  

But the main point of my Pinterest addiction is that I am using it to make the most of my time, to be productive, and to keep from getting into trouble. Which happened recently. I started following a FaceBook page about military spouses, and ended up in the middle of turmoil that I should have seen coming. I took it personal, and I let someone rob me of my happiness. When a craft is attempted, it's not robbing you of happiness, it's teaching you a lesson about patience and following directions. When a human being hurts you with words, you find yourself dredging up all the demons of people who said mean things to you in elementary school, or the bully who beat you up in high school. All that negativity is stirred up, mingled with the hurtful words, and sauteed with  self doubt with a heavy dose of self pity.  What you get is the normal person's version of The Real Housewives of New Jersey! Yuck.

So, I'm going to stick to my crafts and my DIY and my projects.  Every post on Facebook will involve happy thoughts, rainbows, and sparkly rainbows... ok maybe not!  But I will be positive. And I promise I won't tell anybody to "Bite Me", even if they SEVERELY deserve it.  Now, let me get back to making curtains out of incredibly beautiful and inexpensive fabric!

FOCUS!

So I'm having issues with time management and focusing on projects to completion.  Painting the master bedroom furniture is taking more time than I thought. The fact that I'm sleeping on the floor is part of the reason I'm hoping it goes faster. I can't make paint dry faster, and I can't start anything else until it's done because it takes up so much space.  To say that I'm frustrated is an understatement. So, here is the list of things to be done before Allan comes home in two weeks:

1. Paint both dressers, headboard, and footboard. This is taking FOREVER between sanding and drying and painting a second coat.

2. Make the duvet cover. But first, get all the fabric and get it pinned together. This is not going to take time, but it WILL take space.

3. Make the curtains. Measure, cut, and pin the fabric so it's ready to go as soon as it's time. Again, the issue is space for this.

4. FIND a rug, then paint it. I never thought it would be so hard to find a stinking rug!

5. Order the vinyl cling. I'll just have to order it this week so it has time to get here.

6. Find three closet doors, get the photo blown up, then glue them to the doors to make a screen.

7. Find a chair!


As you can see, this stuff is mainly FINDING things, then taking care of it.  So much to do, and so little time to do it. I need to have the majority of this completed by next Wednesday so I have time to clean up the immense MEGA MESS I've created with all my projects!

So, now comes the most difficult aspect of this huge endeavor: paint, then while waiting for it to dry, go find the rug. Get the closet doors and picture done last since this take the least amount of time.  Oh, and clean up your stupid sewing room! You need the space to get the duvet and curtains done!

I hope this helps me to put things into perspective. The last items will be pillows. This will take time because I want to be specific with the fabric.  So check with me again next Monday. I hope to be further along than I am now!

In the Beginning...

I was always told the most difficult aspect of creativity is a blank page. "They" were wrong. The absolutely most frightening aspect of creativity is having so many ideas and projects that you can't decide where to begin. There are days when I feel like a hungry kid in a candy store, trying to decide if I want to try somebody else's idea, create something of my own, or just sit down and fold laundry. As always, laundry loses out!


The best/worst thing I ever found was Pinterest. How great is it to find all these fantastic ideas, and organize the pics and links to go back and find them later? "Why is it the worst thing?" Again- look at the laundry!


I'm here to share some basic ideas, and let you follow my path to creative enlightenment. I will "borrow" and "try" ideas that I find on other blogs and sites, and let you follow each step from shopping to finishing to decorating.  As with all "art" and "decor" we must give credit to the artists who showed us how to do it, but also give credit to ourselves for making it our own.


So, let's begin our adventure!